porra nenhuma pra fazer .

antes que a mary tenha um treco por eu não ter postado,
vou postar uma coisa totalmente idiota que eu e o raffa fizemos.
não vou traduzir, bjkx.


Sex for dummies.

Chapter 1: sex in the 1th grade
"-mommy,what is sex?"
"-it's a food that you are gonna eat just when you are 18"

Chapter 2: sex in the 3th grade
-hey,monica,look at the 135th pag of the science book!
-OH MY GOOOOOOOD!
-HAHAHAHAHAH
-GROOOOOOOOOSE!

Chapter 3: sex in the 4th grade
teacher: hey kids, now we're going to see a cartoon where the characteres are the semen and your mommy
kids: :O :9999

Chapter 4: sex in the 5th grade
"so i was kissing anne and put my hands in her boobs"
"oooh john, you totally rock"

Chapter 5: sex in the 7th grade
"yeah man, she's kinda... everything. no words. i could not exist without her and that magical touch. and yours?"
"yeah, my hand is nice too"

Chapter 6: sex in the first year of high school
"john,i'm pregnant"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--"

Chapter 7: sex in college:
part 1: the people who doesn't have sex
5 nazists vs. 1 jewish
part 2: the people who does have sex
1021324533432 partys and 4537527456 DST's

Chapter 8: sex with your boss
"EMMA, YOU'RE A STUPID, AND YOU GONNA BE FIRED!"
"uh, your dick is big. and i'm already fucked so"
*boss taking everything down the table and sitting emma with open legs in the table*

Chapter 9: your first gay sex
-that's wrong! i like woman!
-so why are you excited?
- ...yeah,you are right, now take your pants off, bitch!

Chapter 10: sex after you've been fired
"hey pussycat, what's the price?"
"ten bucks :\"
"i give you 11 if you let me **whisper in the ear**"
"done! :3"

Chapter 11: sex with someone you really love
- I can't believe we are actually doing that
- neither do I
- I love you
-I love you too!
*1 hour of love talking and THEN the sex starts*

Chapter 12: chocolate sex
-AMANDITA OH MY GOD IT'S SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

chapter 13: sex with someone you don't really love
*after 4 hours*
- oh, that's so much better without saying i love you for an hour!
- totally. turn the back, pussycat
*go on making sex*

Chapter 14: cyber sex
CHAT UOL
hot_27cm enters the room
hot_27cm says: SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX
girl_looking_for_wild_sex says: *something sexual*
hot_27cm: oh yeaah *something sexual*

Chapter 15: tricycle sex
woman 1 - migz, you go first {"migz" is a universal slang, okay? :'D}
woman 2 - no, you go first, i wanna watch tv!
man - hey girls, i solve it. who wants fuck my ass?

Chapter 16: the Woo sex
*specially after not making sex for a long time*
- now i'm gonna put my mouth in your dick. WOOOOO!
- now i know why you've spent so many time without sex... wo.

Chapter 17: bread sex
\pão
- I so wanna have sex with you
\pão

Chapter 18: the boredom sex
- nothing to do... nowhere to go
- boyfriend's travelling... and mommy didn't brought me cucumbers from the street market
- sex?
- totally.

Chapter 19: the marriage sex
- oh baby, i can't believe we're finally doing that. i've been waiting for a long time for losing our virginity together and...
- in the high school i was called velvet mouth, and in the college i was called big pussy. i'm so sorry, baby

Chapter 20: the marriage sex after some months
- baby, i really need to work tomorrow... stop moaning so loud, that's just a cucumber

Chapter 21: gaming sex
*click in the person*
-> Talk
-> Sex
*click on sex*

Chapter 22: erotic story sex
- but baby, that woman on the story had sex with 5 men in simultaneous... i bet i can do it too!

Chapter 23: vegetal sex
- baby, i wasn't supposed to eat a sallat tonight, but with a cucumber in your ass, a banana in your mouth and a carrot in your pussy i can't resist

Chapter 24: ok.i'll do it sex
-let's have seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex please please please come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on please please sex sex sex come on come on please please please please let's have seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex please please please come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on please please sex sex sex come on come on please please please please
- ok i'll do it

Chapter 25: the panties sex
*ladies talking*
- oh my good, darling, look at this panties!
- yeah, they rock :\ now i'm too old, but in high school i really wanted to suck a girl

Chapter 27: swing club sex
*ladies talk*
- so, me and rob had a romantic dinner and went to sleep at 8 p.m. . and you?
- i went to a swing club with john, and had sex with 4 dark men and two women. sometimes in simultaneous.

Chapter 28: drunk sex
-why there is so many people in my bed?

Chapter 29: church sex
- that's the only place we didn't had sex yet
- now that's not anymore.

Chapter 30: the first sex
*mumbling*
-i'm so glad we're gonna have...all the sex....
-i'm very ansious to have ...se...xual relations with...you
- that's okay, you're not even the first.